Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
