my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
