He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize