Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
