he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
And then my night got REAL pukey
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
