jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
