I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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