apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I understand Curling. That high.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
