he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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