I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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