dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
