6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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