They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
My vagina just clenched in fear
Drunk is a universal language darling
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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