I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
