If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
