chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
no you cant smoke seaweed
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
