Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
