what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize