ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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