So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize