I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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