Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
