erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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