it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
