Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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