Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
