Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
