This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
