from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize