Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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