She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
