i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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