TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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