Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
