I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
