My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
