using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
