apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
