I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
