so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
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I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
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I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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