Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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