I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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