I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I have fence marks all over my body
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
