I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
