I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
When are your genitals available?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
