Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
