well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize