He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
