i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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