so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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