so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
