Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
