Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
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I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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