So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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