she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
