when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
