Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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