The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize