I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
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We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
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When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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