her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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