This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
